How to Not Write a Book

I was going to write a post titled “How to Write a Book” but I realized I wasn't very qualified  – I haven't finished my book yet. However, this doesn't mean I haven't learned anything, here are a few thoughts on how not to write a book.

Chose a subject to not write about. It should be banal, unoriginal and poorly developed. The more uninspiring and vague it is, the sooner you will reach your goal of not writing about it. 

Don't do any research. It doesn't matter if you are working with fiction or nonfiction, make sure you skip the research step. Being unprepared will help you delay your writing. 

Skip the outline. Outlines are for people who want to avoid writer's block, write quickly and have their book set out in a logical manner. In addition to this, you will need to know your material well to write an outline, and if you followed step two, you won't be very familiar with it. 

Set unrealistic goals. Having no goals allows you to do what you like. But having unrealistic goals encourages you to do nothing at all. Objectives like: I will write 10,000 words before breakfast, I will make the first draft so perfect I will never need to edit, I will finish my book in less than two weeks, are all good ones. 

Avoid writers. They might help you make your book ideas better, or give you some constructive criticism, or, even worse, their enthusiasm might rub off on you, and you could find yourself writing.

Don't read anything. This advice does two things for the unenterprising author. It will help you stay uninspired and it won't help you improve your writing, either.

If you follow these step carefully, you will be unable to write the best book around!

What are some things you have found helpful (or unhelpful) for you during the process of writing a book?

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